Stick with me, we’ll get to Poppa at the end…
My $64,000 question that day, for which I was looking for two cents from someone of substance: How can a I put my heart into something, yet remain unattached?”
All of this came about because of a bizarre dream I had of my daughter, Brynne, and her family living in a home that actually was as big as a department store.
I had written that day:
“I dreamed that Brynne lived in a huge house. The layout was really weird with three or four huge master suites, and she had just renovated the last one, which had the most scrumptious bathtub set in marble.. the thing is, it looked like a store setting. The room was cavernous.”
Then, I wrote:
“As a matter of fact, I was in some kind of museum (or store) when I came upon her bathroom. I seemed to be shopping — looking for a couple of small end tables…
“Down the center of this “store” was a street where draft horses were pulling the hugest carriages that actually looked like small stores themselves.”
I don’t know why, but I woke up in tears. I had no idea why that dream had caused me to cry. Sitting quietly, thinking on it, I remembered that bathtub with the hump in it so that it could be squished into a very small space, yet allow a person to fit into it — Your bent legs fit very nicely over the hump (this is a symbol for both Nick and I.
Unfortunately, though, we don’t equate it with a brilliant economic engineering solution — which it is, now that I think about it. We think of it as a lack, a place where you can no longer luxuriate — the bathtub half empty, rather than half full, kind of thing). And that brought be back to the few days I spent in Nice after my divorce 20 years ago, and having absolutely nothing material — All Nick and my things fit in a trunk and a big suitcase. Nick, only 4, was terribly affected. He listened to a Bambi tape over and over again…
And another thing came up. I was observing in this dream. That’s all. Watching the parade. And that is something that I had been doing very little of in my real life — working so hard that I was not seeing anything else. All the “little things” were being ignored.
So, that morning, Nick, who has moved out, but shows up for breakfast, showed up. So, it’s
not all that unusual that I asked him for his two cents. He’s really into martial arts right now… . And he said:
“You get your opponents out in front of you, so that you can keep an eye on them, and then you let your intuition take over.”
A little later, following through on these thoughts, I hit the web, which I often use like the Tarot. Ask it a question and see what it comes up with (Weird, I know, but an interesting way of connecting to the great unconscious).
“This not only can be done, it must be done. In Karate, if I am sparring a few students, I must stay centered and present or one of them will score on me — meaning I lost and in a real situation, I would be dazed. That is a very bad situation to be in — dazed while being attacked from multiple directions.
“I must keep my mind on what do I need to do now? What do I need to do now? What do I need to do now? I cannot think of the past split second or the future split second. I must be fully in the present moment. If I slip and think of past or future, I lose what is happening now, that is the very moment one of my students will score on me if I let my mind slip. Instead, I keep calm, centered and relaxed, while having them rush me like maniacs from every direction. Oh the fun I have in Karate!”
“Ask yourself: When have I experienced being totally involved, yet completely detached at work? What was my source of motivation at that time? How can I build on the strength of this experience?
“When our source of motivation comes from our spiritual basis, we naturally experience an equanimity’s detachment, while at the same time being fully dedicated to and acting toward our goals. Here is what we have found happens when we work from this spiritual source of motivation:
“To paraphrase: We engage in our work at our full capacity; We focus on goals that come from a transcendent source; We gain wisdom from the outcome, no matter what it is; We grow spiritually.”
That’s when I fell upon Poppa Neutrino’s web site. Here’s what he said.
“The other thing, there are actually three obstacle courses that you are running, and you have to do it all at the same time. They are spiritual, psychological and physical enhancement.
“(if you get an answer and it fades away, it was only an answer good for one of the three, he said).
“So, run yours, and get off other peoples courses.
“Step two, be proactive. Not reactive or non active. Being proactive, you have to stay unattached.
“Once you start achieving, then there’s a new problem. Now you are struggling with unattachment.
“Some things to make this easier. Reduce your life to the necessities and get rid of the rest. Figure out at any given time whether you are the teacher, student or co-participant. “Try to see yourself accurately in all situations and not be attached to the outcomes.”
Then we have his seven step club: don’t know what that is. But anyway, here are the rules of his club:
1. Be polite
2. Know your three deepest desires. Are you moving toward, away or not moving at all?
3. His last two have to do with sharing and growing the club, so it becomes an enmasse movement (an interesting idea, after all).
And another thing he adds, speed is not the big deal. Steadfastness is.