strange experience this morning. an aha moment. sitting on the back steps, looking out into the gardens, and the garage area behind, partially hidden by trees and bushes.
Nick was to come and mow the back. but he didn’t come, and i wasn’t expecting him, since I had just gotten off the phone with him.
and yet…
in the shadows, in the spaces between leaf and limb, i could make out the shape of his car next to the garage. i knew it was not there, but, alas, i could glimpse it quite clearly in a hazy sort of way.
it was so real, i got up and walked into the yard, closer to where the phantom car sat. and sure enough, it wasn’t there.
double knowledge, so to speak, and yet when i sat down again and peered out, i could still make out his car.
i don’t have an answer for this, but it gave me a clear perception that we see exactly what we want to see, making it up, even if it isn’t there at all.
now, what do i do with that new insight?
Bitch Rag 