Every so often, I feel wonderful. Very happy. Peacefully excited maybe a little bit in love.
What the heck is that?
Here are the kinds of situations where I begin to feel that way.
• When I’m finished work, and can take a minute to play.
• Right as I start to take my day off.
• Taking some time off to go shopping.
• Getting ready to jump into bed.
All in all — Relishing the moments that are mine and mine alone.
Hey. Is there some kind of pattern here?
I think I’ll take a whole day to do that. But when?
And then something happens, and I feel the rush. Not in a good way. It’s heavy and horrible. When the realization sets in that I have very hard work to do, and I better get at it.
What the heck is that? Who made it so very hard and horrible?
The other day, I had a realization. When I wake up in the morning and face another long period of work. I put on a huge smile (forced, I might add), and say, “This is fun!”
The weird thing is, it sort of works!
Then the sailboat dream, followed by the message from Isabel.
“Quickly before I go…” working until midnight from 6am! please please be careful. I know that you have been through hard times, and that there is a future out there that you would like to secure, but you also must not induce disease by overworking yourself. You know that I am as close to being an atheist as it’s possible, but St. Augustine appears to have been a pretty wise guy, and the Augustinian Rule says 8 hours work, 8 hours leisure and meditation, 8 hours sleep. Leisure time and of course, sleep are real necessities for the body’s immune system to keep our health, both physically and mentally. I think all the wise people out there, Lamas and others would agree on this.”
And the sailboat dream. What lovely boats, all oiled wood, sleek — vessels that use the wind to move them, and engineered to make it so. Masters of leisure time – actually the ultimate symbol. Who, but the very rich, can own such a lovely thing?
Oh how I would love to be a sailboat!
When the wind dies down, the sailboat rests quietly. In a storm, with sails trimmed, it rides the waves. And these sailboats I envision, they are pleasure crafts. They can race, but more often, they just are out and about, traveling around (going on exotic, thought-out, amazing trips) and having a good old time.
What a life!
St. Augustine. Did he have a boat?
ps. visited the sailboat site. they have building a sailboat in about five or so easy steps! sounds like an afternoon’s work! so funny!
Bitch Rag 